Monkeying Around

Drunk as a Monk

2012-01-01T20:57:00.002-05:00

Me and Butterfly bached it New Years Eve,...Auld Lang and all that.

2 Weeks Flying high

2011-10-01T11:06:00.005-04:00

The open road.

Ron thought I should get off the dash but there was good sun there.

I'm with the ticket for Chambord Castle and the toll booth ticket for the highway. It was 13 Euros for the highway between Paris and Chambord. The arrows point at me but do I look like someone with pockets?

Ron didn't take a picture of us at our trip there. Ah well, maybe we can photoshop ourselves in later.

Look down, way down. It's Paris, Ron.

Here I am on the flight looking with our trajectory. Back to Montreal. What do you mean Montreal's not in the picture? Why didn't you say say scooch over?

See?

Hitting the Beaches

2011-09-26T15:30:00.002-04:00

It's 27 degrees but my little bud still won't come out of his Rhino suit but that's fine. We love him just the same, don't we?

Touring

2011-09-20T06:09:00.002-04:00

Goofing off by the river with Ron we nearly got beaned by the nuts when the wind got up.

Look Man, I can balance an acorn on my nose.

(Never mind his get up. Ron's got a Dali complex going on about Rhinos.)

It was pretty quiet for a while but while Ron was trying to get my picture with this waterfall, I just about got tore to bits.

This was just before I was eaten, nearly. There was this huge white dog that ran toward me and nearly snatched me while my back was turned.

Where's Ron get off to? Taking cover naturally.

Thanks for getting my back man.

It makes the Metro and its pickpockets seem tame by comparison. Mother Nature has PMS, I tell ya.

Never a quiet moment for long. Especially when guitars are cheap and accessible. There are some buskers singing the trains that make a good case for sitting mute with a cup instead of working for the centimes, I tell ya.

Leaf Me Be

2010-10-29T16:02:00.002-04:00

Forget me. I'll just lay here, swooned, being covered over by autumn, left to rot beneath the coming snow.

Ok, I'm over that now. Come sit with me. I've got an apple for your eye.

Single Monk Looking for Cellmate

2010-10-22T16:33:00.002-04:00

Dreaming of a romantic partner for a cruise?

We could go back to Staten Island, me and you.

Sit out by the point in Central Park, go up to that gazebo.

Look over the water and see what that sparks.

We could share some nibbles on a bench.

Sound good? I'm your monk.

Sky on my Shoulders

2010-08-04T09:05:00.001-04:00

I'd grab some farm-time to sow some wild oats, but there's so much competition from the domestically-grown oats. Sigh.

Vision

2010-07-23T15:51:00.002-04:00

Sitting in deep meditation I saw an image of myself and a visitor. I sat and watched the wild-white eyes. Waiting outs its snorts and pawing of of the ground, gradually it settled.

In my ears as I woke was a voice like God: Taming the unicorn takes intention and time.

Jetting

2010-05-22T11:41:00.002-04:00

There's something mad-great about spurts. This is a waterpark like thing in Montreal.

It pulses in rhythm like visual music. Forget fireworks. That's medieval china. We're talking valves and pumps!

I'm just out of reach.

Dance Fever

2010-05-15T12:14:00.001-04:00

Tropical Themed club

My fans blurred out.

Well, that was a gas.

2010-05-10T12:46:00.003-04:00

At the doctor's, I was looking a canisters, noticing none of them would fit under my sweater, even if I was still wearing it.

I was thinking some nitrous oxide could be handy for some social scenes. Party like it's the 1790s.

Cocky Monkey

2010-05-05T10:55:00.000-04:00

Ok so my team lost.

I'm not taking the sweater off. We'll take the cup text year.

Bowling Nite

2010-05-02T10:57:00.000-04:00

I'm winning so far.

Although I have a proxy to handle my balls.

Pool Night

2010-04-24T11:04:00.002-04:00

Pool has my second favorite kind of racks.

Not my night for that kind of lady luck.

Butter Believe It

2010-04-19T22:46:00.003-04:00

That last money ticket fell thru so the only place I'll be going for a while is the movies. At least I'm off parole so that hassle is over.

Good in the box, good in the sack. I'm good, and back, let's just leave it at that.

Signs of Spring

2010-04-10T10:04:00.000-04:00

A shot in the park. Before the snow begins again. The very last snow ever.

Feeling Peckish

2010-04-06T11:20:00.001-04:00

Time is wearing on. Feeling peckish too?

And by peckish, we mean Cannibalistic.

hey, I know his brother

2010-03-30T21:50:00.000-04:00

Won't You Let Me Take You

2010-03-28T10:35:00.002-04:00

on a sea cruise?

Okay. You docked me into it.

A little near dip in the humid port of call.

Some real plants again.

Some sweet green. (Not that kind of green. I'm clean I say.)

Overnight at a charming B&B before we get back on board. Suppose I should have recorded something of that time but you know, that wasn't what was foremost on our minds...and she is a lady...

Caught up in Things

2010-03-18T22:26:00.001-04:00

And in Statuary.

Heading off for a quick weekend getaway with a Lady-Love to warmer climes.

Reports may follow.

Remember Summer?

2010-03-16T12:12:00.000-04:00

Last summer before things went apeshit, good times.

Relaxing in my lady's yard.

Catching some rays on the deck chair.

Always use a condiment people.

Watch where you shove that thing. Monkey bits aren't replaceable the way girlie bits are.

Hey, I kid. No need to put me behind bars on that account.

I'm such a criminal mind.

Rock On. Folk On?

2010-03-13T10:28:00.002-05:00

Let the music play.. boys.

A few screwdrivers under black lights is the same as a ball peen hammer under morning light.

All Washed Up

2010-03-09T14:57:00.000-05:00

Time for the dryer.

Under them Skivvies

2010-03-06T16:30:00.003-05:00

Nothing to see here. Move along.

So I'm houseboy, ok? When she said my duties would be comprehensive, I didn't take it quite so literally.

I thought she meant scrubbing potatoes more figuratively. She's funny that way.

Although I'm not saying it's not without perks, if you get my usual drift.

Linky Link

2010-03-03T14:41:00.001-05:00

A baby monkey squee! squee!

Ahem. A manly squee, you understand. More of a grrr-squee really.

As you were.

Slowing Down the Pace

2010-02-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

For reasons purely my own I'm going to do this reflection-shmection stuff.

My parole officer has nothing to do with it. Very little to do with it. Ok, so she brought me the materials and checks it like I was a third grader writing out lines. Fine.

But if I want to waste my time in my own head, it's no one's fault but my own. You got a problem with that?

Good things can come from an appreciation of the finer things in life. Like what? Like meeting chicks in yoga class. Rich chicks go for that sort of stuff.

Who knows, this may be the dawn of a kinder, gentler Monk.

Ha. Pray for me, children.

The 4th Monkey

2010-02-20T10:16:00.002-05:00

I got an envelope slid under my door. No return address. Inside, some old buddies of mine. A lifetime ago the gag was picked up by the local paper. Who would know that?

The style could be either Rat, or the not so subtle nudge from ex #12 to do no evil.

What does she know? Has she learned something new?

Oops, failure to care.

Happy Valentines Day

2010-02-14T23:10:00.001-05:00

I can't feel my feet anymore.

Do I have feet?

Is there a floor?

Morning? Already?

2010-02-14T13:11:00.001-05:00

First, let me say -- I don't know whose eyeglasses those are in the toilet but they aren't mine.

Second, you are so lucky not to have to smell that.

Third, I don't know if we ever made it as far as the bed.

And can someone turn down the sun just a titch?

God, so tired.

What a way to start a Valentine's Day.

The Date

2010-02-12T20:07:00.000-05:00

The waiter was gracious enough to take a picture of us together. Here I am pulling the turban over her eyes.

Yeah, I know. She don't look like much, and is about as wide as she is tall and about as much personality as she looks to have.
But brother, is she ever stinking rich.

And she packs a Polaroid camera in that carpetbag of hers. Who does that? Like I want evidence.

It's not like she'll ever find this blog. Or anyone else for that matter.

Jessica was more fun. Remember Jess?

Came across a photo she took, back in the good old days, playing peekaboo in the store before the staff got all brassy and gave us da boot.

Ah well, need more cowbell next week.

Your e-cad,
Monk

I am Gemini

2010-02-09T14:38:00.001-05:00

What shall my Free Will future options be?

Tobagganing

2010-02-06T14:18:00.002-05:00

Ready,

Set...

Go...

Ow...

Ready...

Morning where is thy sting?

2010-02-03T09:36:00.002-05:00

I deny you this.

I deny you.

Ok, I'm on the wagon.

2010-01-31T14:02:00.001-05:00

Pleasant Sunday afternoon, interlude.

See, iced tea and watching as the last party of this double date arrives. An hour late I might add.

Am I not the very soul of respectability that some chick with a lot of cash might need to share with me for say, a year or so, interest free?

I know, always an angle with me. I'm a regular stellated dodecahedron, aren't I. A real star. Meh.

Night of Glittering Literati

2010-01-26T05:52:00.005-05:00

Ah, memories...
Are your foggy around the edges too?

Hey, that's slowing down.

Did I say I was boring of this? Keep pouring good man, keep pouring.

As i was saying, you never know what a night will hold...

A chance to run the DJ booth. We'll leave the karaoke unrecorded, shall we.

A chance to hear Buying Cigarettes for the Dog live. (Buy the book dammit!)

As the night wore on... Steve declared his love for me.

And there, we fade to black.

Ugh

2010-01-24T10:39:00.000-05:00

That was a rough night.

El Tigre stitched me up. Guess I should have held off on that visit to the doctor.

No, no, don't worry. I'll be fine.

'Tude Adjustment

2010-01-22T20:15:00.000-05:00

You every feel you're lord of the castle?

Then go from King to kindling?

Seeing the Doc

2010-01-20T22:15:00.000-05:00

Be on time, then sit and cool your heels. Ooh, flashbacks to the legal system.

What have we here?

Restraint-play in the stirrups.

Make like an autopsy.

Ears to you.

Oh, and Dearest Ex?

2010-01-19T19:31:00.001-05:00

I'm very sorry baby, that doesn't look like me at all.

You're mixing me up with that ex who cared.

I've got another little sweet something on my mind.

A Travelling Monk

2010-01-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

So, as I was saying, I fell in with some people. Being at the right place at the right time. He was booking and I said, bring me.

Sometimes all you have to do is being charming and ask for what you want. I hitched a ride with them.

Now I did have a clue that this might work.

It worked with asking them to take me to a symphony.

So the trip...

Ready? Never more so in my life.

We saw all kinds of places.

I got my picture taken with this furless femme, but even with all my charisma, it got me no where with this one.

I didn't get the maid's name but I have this memento of her tool and she has memories of mine.

See, I'm not all lady's man. I am a guy's guy too.

Did I mention beer?

There was drinking to be had, but water is too late at this point to thin my pulsing red beer any.

I saw London, I saw France, I saw ladies' underpants. (This would be, y'know, some old church.)

Here's a bit climbing my old ruins over old ruins in Rome.

We buzzed thru the continent so fast, it was like being on the run again. Good times.

Coming home was a bit rough. Mental note: Ingratiate self relentlessly. You are never home safe until you're home.

Playing Catch Up

2010-01-14T16:43:00.000-05:00

Yah, so as I was saying? before I was so rudely interrupted by life?

Yeah, I went straight.

Straight to a few iron ladies' hearts.

(This one had a heart of brass. But that's another story.)

I brushed up on my sophisticated side with some reading. Ladies like a brain not just the brawn of my physique.

I worked with Mike for a while.

He said I was a monkey on his back. That job gave me plenty of time to think since talking shop wasn't exactly onerous. Nice word onerous.

I fell into a bit of recursive thinking.

I got to dreaming of bigger better places.

And when you dream it, life brings the teachers. That's another story.

Happy Holidays

2009-12-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

Don't say I never think of ya.

See you in 2010, kids.

Hallowe'em

2009-11-02T17:09:00.000-05:00

Me and some buddies were hanging around in Rat's cramped place and thinking we should do something for Hallowe'en.

We brainstormed for a bit. Gave me those tinglies of a heist-planning but I don't do that anymore. Clean I tell you. Even behind the ears.

El Tigre decided he wanted to be a chef.

They threw a sheet over me and said make like a ghost.

I thought the living dead suited me better.

So here, I'm a zombie, I'm a zombie.

My rawr made Suki laugh so it's all good.

Looking after the Love Engine

2009-10-22T19:10:00.001-04:00

On the road. Wish I could drive, but bus it is.

Guess where I am. (My mouth is sealed.)

Did you guess?

Go on. What were you going to do with those few seconds on your life anyway?

You know you wanna.

I'll give you a clue.

You have toys, er, I mean tools. You can recline.

Ok. so not so exciting. But soon, we get into restrains.

Looking after the Health

2009-10-18T12:25:00.000-04:00

Another way to get the ticker pumping. Not my ticker. But she's my second heart of the week anyway so it counts as exercise, right.

Bet you can't even see me.

Rolling in the leaves. Can we get more classically romantic.

Yes, we can.

Someone, source me a horse!

Ok, let's not go crazy with this nature communing.

Sure, I admit it -- bird watching from bird height was a bad idea.

Even if chicks dig it.

My luck started to change

2009-07-23T21:03:00.000-04:00

I was beating the bushes for some leads.

I started connecting with some of the locals in my new neighbourhood.

Dropped by and saw the ex-lady since I was feeling big-hearted and since I heard she'd come into some cash. Look at that kid, she says it's mine. I have my doubts. But she gave me a lead on a job. (And by job I mean job, not heist. I'm clean I swear.)

Onto the fall

2009-07-20T19:56:00.000-04:00

Eventually I started to run low on dinero and good times.

The bar for fine dining started declining you might say.

My parole officer gave me a job lead. But wood isn't my thing. Gold, yes. I hardly lasted a week.

Summer started to wind down.

And I was going to the dogs to be honest. I even thought of stealing from the blind. But that would too low even for me. Beside I couldn't get into the mutt.

Oops, a picture Jessica took at her place. How'd that get in there?

Anyway I had to keep up the old team spirit. My luck was bound to change and it did.

How the rest of that summer went

2009-07-18T15:25:00.000-04:00

Once I was a free monkey again, I threw myself into the good life.

Fine dining...

Pretty jewels for the lady.

Flowers, whatever she wants.

Do you know how much sky there is up there? Even sun on gravel felt amazing. (Plus it would double as camoflouge, should that double-crossing El Tigre come around.)

I just soaked it in. I hung around in the park for days, drinking only the purest things.

Occasionally even the not so pure things till I was swinging from the closest thing to lampshades that I could find.

Ah good times.

I'm back.

2009-07-16T20:05:00.001-04:00

I kept you waiting, didn't I?

I've been thinking. And that can take a monkey a while. As things went, I've had a lot of time.

I can go pretty wild in my mind.

Crazy-mad, I tell ya. The schemes and dreams I come up with...

But too wild and one's body gets into a mess of trouble.

We were just goofing around, officer. If it's my job to do no evil I think we're in trouble. Cops don't seem to look kindly on the joke. Can you think of more flimsy circumstantial for getting their attention? What, are there no crosswalks that need policing?

I mean honestly, how is the monkey being spanked, the monkey's fault?

Well, there was that one other small matter. I always have been an appreciator of the arts. If she would have just given me the painting, the whole heist would have been unnecessary.

But how was I to know the Princess had installed an alarm system? I think El Tigre was in cahoots with her. Entrapment, I say.

Well, I got out eventually. Now I'm back to my adoring fans. I'm not stealing anything but hearts.

Life's good. Here's a shot of me with my new girlfriend. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. She looks a little young to you, but she'll get older and fatten up some.

But this all is old news, if you've met me before. I'll recap some of the rest of the highlights of 2006 before we move on.

At the edge of seat

2007-12-09T17:47:00.000-05:00

is slippery...

ahem

2007-12-08T19:38:00.000-05:00

Watch this space.